At Peace

My Lifetime Stories in blog

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Berdampingan dgn penjual minyak wangi

Once upon a time

Semasa di Taiping, aku mau berkawan dengan semua. Tak kira rakan masjid, rakan bola mahupun rakan ‘terbang’. Sometimes I felt desperate to have some sort of link with them. Tak pastilah masa tengah gila nama ataupun kuasa. Siapa tahu. Or was it my intention to see through them, looking for the kindness. I believe at that time, that we should have the ability to differentiate between the person himself, and the act that they did. We hate the act that they did, but not the person.

I still hold the same value. I still think the difficulty differentiating the two makes us confused. We should be able to see the difference between the government and the BN party. If people hate the party, don’t throw tantrum on every government officer who is doing his job. If people hate PAS, please differentiate between what is pure kepartian, and what is Islam. Don’t put everything in the same boat.

Friends with everybody

However, I do have reservation about ‘friend with everybody’. Should we accept every friend request in facebook, or should we be selective of people we might know? I do encourage people to make friends, but be selective in whom we choose to be in our circle of close friends. When I was in Taiping, the world around me was small so I cannot afford not to know people. Now in the real world, we have so many people around us that it is impossible to be friends with everybody. The question has now become – which one should we choose to be our friend? (or we can just wait and see who come to greet us first)

Rasulullah said: A man is upon the religion of his khalil (close friend), so let each one of you be careful about the person he chooses to be his close friend (Ahmad – Hasan Hadith)

I used to oppose the idea that we should be friend with ‘good’ person only. Mainly because I hate to see a group of ‘good’ people on one side, and ‘not so good’ people on the other side. My thinking was, if there is no mix, then there will be no transfer of knowledge of what is right or wrong. I still hold that is true, hence I agree there should be some form of mixing between good and not-yet-good people. However, I realise one day that I have been thinking too hard on helping other people (kononnya) that I forgot I need help myself as well!

We need good companion as well

The example of a righteous companion and an evil one is that of a carrier of al-Musk (type of perfume) and a blower of bellows. As for the carrier of al-Musk, either he will give to you as a gift, or you will buy from him, or you will find a pleasant odour emanating from him. And as for the blower of bellows, either he will burn clothes or you will find a foul odour emanating from him. (Bukhari)

Have we checked whether we spent more times with the carrier-of-al-Musk-type, or the blower-of-bellows-type? If we firmly believe in the Day of Judgment, we should make it our effort and priority to be with the nicer smell ones. What for? Because if they are what they are (meaning they are true believers), then they might be able to help us in the day of resurrection!

When the believers are beyond the Fire, they will plead with Allah on behalf of their brothers who will then be in the Fire, saying, “Our Lord, they used to fast with us, pray with us, and go to hajj with us.” So they will be told, “Take out whomever you can recognize of them.” Thus they will take out a large number of people. (Bukhari)

Or better still, we will be the people who help our friends/companions from the Hellfire – but of course we don’t know this. We can only hope for.

To isolate ourselves?

Some will ask, if it is so difficult to find good companions, why not we just stay at home and do what we do best. Nobody else will care and we’ll be saved from all the temptation out there. Before we go to that extreme, listen to what Rasullulah said about people who try to mix with the community..

The believer who mixes with people and patiently endures their harm, is better than the one who does not mix with them and does not endure their harm. (Ibn Majah – Hasan hadith)

And then, if things still are difficult for us, then probably it is time for us to find a place where it is spiritually more compatible with us, or a place where the Iman will grow. It is just like the hadith of a serial killer who had killed 99 man and wondering whether God could forgive him. Eventually he was told by an ‘alim (knowledgeable person) that he should go to such and such land where people are devoted to Allah’s worship and do not go back to his land as it was an evil place.

Malaysia perhaps? Let us hope so, Insya-Allah.



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